Well, I’m flying off this evening to Australia. As some of you may know, I’m serving National Service (NS) right now. It’s an obligatory thing for all guys in Singapore to serve NS once he has come to age. I’ve decided to list down the things which I would miss here in Singapore while I’ll be gone for the next 2 and a half months. The list is not in any particular order.

1. Church worship
- Well, I’ll miss the fellowship and the singing of hymns in church. I love singing hymns, and not being able to sing hymns with the congregation is really quite saddening. Not being able to listen to sound preaching is also not exactly the best thing that can happen. I can only pray that God will look after me and guide me during this time.

2. The comfort of family and home
- Certainly I’ll miss my family and home. There’s no mum or dad to watch my back now. There’s no comfortable and familiar bed to sleep on. There’s no personal laptop to fiddle around with.

3. Friends
- My friends have always been supporting me in and out of army. Now that I’ll be in Australia for 2 and a half months, and cellphone reception may not always be present, I really don’t know how I’ll survive without that sms exchange. Well, hopefully I’ll be able to send occasional emails out or post on my Facebook.

4. Food
- I will miss the hawker food here in Singapore. Already, I can’t imagine what it’ll be like without the U-Mee that I regularly eat from a coffee shop near my home. There’s also the roti-prata that I regularly eat on Sunday mornings at Singpost. Man, 10 weeks without those food, I know I’ll surely miss them.

5.  Gunpla
- The smell of paint and thinner. Man, 2 and a half months without building gunpla, I think I’ll suffer from withdrawal symptoms! There goes my plan of joining this year’s BAKUC. Well, there’s always next year to look forward to I guess.

6. My other figures
- Besides building my gunpla, I’ll miss playing around with my other figures. It’s fun just to take my figure out and play around with it for a while. It gives an unexplainable sense of satisfaction. I feel like a 3 year old kid when I say that, but hey, I like it. What else can I say?

7.  My weekly dosage of tokusatsu, anime and drama
- Well, I’ll be missing a whole lot of toku, anime and drama when I’m gone. There’s Kamen Rider OOO, Tensou Sentai Goseiger, DaiMajin Kanon, Digimon Xros Wars, and a whole lot of non-weekly/regularly released shows at that. Man, loads of catching up to do when I return in 2 and a half months time ^^

Well, I think that about sums up my main thoughts. There’ll be more things for sure, just probably hasn’t struck my mind yet. I’ll be doing a mini journal log when I’m there, so I’ll post more when I return.

- Matt.

傷ついたその腕に
なにを抱いてる
打たれた頬を
拭うように笑い

苦しみは優しさを
死なせやしない
弱さを知れば
人は強くなれる

さぁお前の罪を数え
魂に踏みとどまれ
愛する者を守るために
立ち向えばいい
立ち向かって行けばいい

決められる道はいま
ただひとつだけ
破れた夢も
また力にできる

ここから先の
自分に逢えるまで

さぁお前の罪を数え
魂に踏みとどまれ
愛する者と生きるために
抱きしめればいい
抱きしめてみればいい

Nobody’s Perfect.
Nobody’s Perfect.
それだけが命の証

さぁお前の罪を数え
魂に踏みとどまれ
愛する者を守るために
立ち向えばいい
どんなときも
立ち向かって行けばいい

====================

Those wounded arms
Are embracing something
The bruise on your cheek -
You try to wipe it off with a smile

This pain won’t
Kill off my kindness
By knowing one’s weakness
People can become stronger

Now, count up your crimes!
Let it weigh on your soul
To protect those you love
Stand up and face it
Stand up, go ahead and face it

The path that I must walk -
There’s only one such path right now
For your broken dream,
It gives strength to it

Just keep moving forward
Until you meet yourself

Now, count up your crimes!
Let it weigh on your soul
To live with those you love…
Embrace them
Just try and embrace them

Nobody’s Perfect.
Nobody’s Perfect.
That’s just proof that you’re alive!

Now, count up your crimes!
Let it weigh on your soul
To protect those you love
Stand up and face it
No matter when it is…
Stand up, go ahead and face it

As I think back over the year, I can’t help but see all my imperfections. A recent event made me feel really stupid and even more imperfect than ever. I can’t help but recall the phrase “Nobody’s perfect” when I think back over the past year. “Nobody’s Perfect – that’s the proof of being alive!” is a line in the song “Nobody’s Perfect”. Indeed, imperfection helps define us, as it we learn through our experiences.

Also, it’s been exactly half a year since I entered the army. The experiences have both been trying, yet fun. People I have met, experiences I’ve had; all these taught me precious lessons in life. I’ve a lot to learn. A lot about how to handle people, how to handle relationships, how to talk well. I’ve been doing too many things wrongly, and I’ve wronged others as well. Sometimes, I wish I could turn back time, but to alter time is to alter one’s own destiny itself. Everything happens for a reason, and God is in control of everything. I’ve fallen by the wayside many a times, but God has been gracious to watch over me and pick me up again.

LORD God Almighty, I take this time to rededicate myself unto Thee. If not for Thy loving kindness, I would have long been destroyed by the devil. LORD, teach me and guide me in this life O LORD. Teach me Thy way, and help me to grow up as a better man. The many sins that I’ve committed, forgive me for them. I thank Thee for sustaining me thus far, and I pray that Thou would sustain me through, all the way of my life. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Will I ever update this blog more often? Honestly, probably not. I’m probably only gonna update this blog as and when I feel inspired or moved to.

Trust me, it’s gonna be an enjoyable series. I never watch stupid anime.

Well, a little update about my life right now. I’m like in my 8th week of my technical course right now, and I’d be passing out in 2 weeks on the 24th of June. *yay* Honestly, I can’t wait to get out of my current training institute. Sure, it’s kinda slack and it’s not very tiring (besides the travelling to and fro), but life there is getting a little mundane.

Looking at my past few months’ updates, they seem to be getting shorter (not to mention the record of only 1 post in May and none in February), and less… umm… intellectual. It’s official, my brain’s pretty messed up right now. I can attribute a few reasons to the lack of postings. Well, okay 2 main reasons.

1. Life is too boring! There’s nothing interesting to post up!
2. I used to have my “A Photo A Week” project, which ensured that I had at least 4 posts per month each time. Now, I don’t even have time to go out and shoot. Or rather I don’t want to spend so much time going out. =/

Well, at least my other blog’s still active. But no, I’m not about to merge the two blogs. Well, in time to come, I hope to do reviews of shows that I watch on this blog. That could possibly help me regain some of my intellect (if I actually had any in the first place ><). When would this ever materialise…? Honestly, I don’t know. Those who follow me on my other blog would know: my Gundam Astraea project has been going on for 3 months now, and it’s only about a third done? Yeah, procrastination. I even do that with my hobby! XD

I used to take my daily meetings with my friends for granted. When you lose something, only then do you realise it’s importance. Now that I can’t meet them regularly, I can’t help but miss the fun times we had together in school, albeit we had all the studies to deal with. Sure, I do meet them every once in a while, but post-JC life means each of us walking our own journeys in life. We might have taken the same subject combination in JC, but we are walking very different paths in university. When I look back, I can’t help but feel nostalgic over school – I miss my freedom.

GACKT’s song, Stay the Ride Alive, gives a very apt description of how I feel now whenever I think back about school life. I honestly doubt I need to explain it much. (Japanese lyrics posted here earlier on.)

Stay the Ride Alive
- Performed by GACKT

The wind shines; the trees sway and sparkle
I can’t help but think that this moment would be unforgettable

More important than the time I spent walking, or the distance…
Are these unmeasurable encounters with people; they even shine now

When I was looking from a place void of light,
In the depths of loneliness I heard
Everlasting words
In the past you gave me
Even as the constellations change, what never changes
Is this steadfast and eternal bond
Even if we never meet again; Stay alive

The time called “the future” can be changed, but…
The time called “memory” can never be changed by anyone

That voice echoing in my heart
“I’ll take you and your memories to the ends of the future”

When I was searching the vast open skies,
When I was lost in the night; I saw the shining
Everlasting heart
In the past you showed me
Even when everything comes to an end
We would be eternally connected by our memories
I will continue to tell myself in my heart; Stay alive

Stopping, looking back, walking again
We are always on a journey
Getting hurt, falling, standing again
“Be strong!”… surely that is the promise!

When I was looking from a place void of light,
In the depths of loneliness I heard
Everlasting words
In the past you gave me
Even as the constellations change, what never changes
Is this steadfast and eternal bond
Even if I try to end this journey,
Ever if we never meet again
Stay alive

Now that I’m back at OETI, I have to do guard duty. And just my luck, I have to do it on this Sunday, 2nd May. I got the bad end of the deal – I could have had a long weekend from Saturday till Monday, but because of stupid guard duty, this ‘long weekend’ is now gone.

The worse part is that I had plans for that day, but I had to shaft them to Monday instead. The worst part however, is that I can’t go to church on that Sunday! It’s weird to not be in church on Sunday. To make matters worse, you’re in camp! ARGH!

Well, at least I get to meet Xiu on Monday.

Oh yeah, and it’s such an irony. I was excused from rifle during BMT, but now I’m a small arms technician trainee learning to handle all the different small arms weapons that the SAF has. Even my Wing Sergeant Major finds it ironic. LOL.

二つの未来
- Performed by Kuroda Michihiro;
Opening song to “Rockman.EXE Axess”

始まりを告げる鐘の声
時代が変わり
昨日打ち消し　鳴り響くよ

大丈夫　君がここにいれば
一人じゃない　それが勇気起こさせる

不機嫌な世界　眩しいほど
照らし出せる　太陽になれる

君と分かち合う　希望と歓び
クロスする　その度深まる絆

未来と現在パズルを合わせて
心つながる　僕らの夢
証になる
====================
Two Futures
- Translation by Magenta from #TV-Nihon

The bell rings out to herald the beginning
The era changes,
And as it echoes, what came is gone before

But it’s alright, as long as you’re here with me
I know I’m not alone and that gives me courage

This sullen world begins to shine
So brightly that it becomes the sun!

I’ll share with you all my hopes and dreams
Every time we Cross, our bond becomes a little deeper

When we complete the puzzle of the present and the future
Our hearts will connect, and our dreams
Shall become the proof
==================
So recently I have been watching Rockman.EXE Axess, and I really love the opening. It’s a pity that there doesn’t seem to be a longer, ‘full’ version to the opening. I would love to hear it if there’s one. You can get the show subtitled from #TV-Nihon.

It was surprising that many, if not most, of them could remember that I was once their Cadet Lieutenant (CLT). Considering that I’ve only taught and guided them for 6 months (or even lesser), to hear them calling me ‘CLT Matthew’ again was a  pleasant surprise. Of course, I told them that I’m no longer a CLT since I left. Besides, I couldn’t remember all of their names and that was a little embarrassing.

But that’s besides the point; the point is that they could remember me, and what I did for them. For one, they could remember that I was the one who taught them their Target Badge, the first badge that any new BB Boy would have to go through first before being enrolled into the company. At that point in time, when they mentioned that, I couldn’t even recall teaching them that badge-work!

Despite me leaving them early (CLTs are supposed to stay on for a year; I had only served 6 months thereabout), they could still remember who I was, what I had did for them. To me, I didn’t know that my actions had left such a strong impact in their minds. These are the times that made me regret leaving the Company prematurely, but I had my reasons of course. Maybe I should go back and serve as an officer in due time? Heh.